Divorces are hard on anyone, whether you know it is coming or not. Moving past the relationship takes time and part of that process is going through the divorce process. Some divorces are clean while some are messy but no matter what kind you are dealing with, you can come out of it as a stronger person.
Once everything is said and done, you must grieve the divorce so you can move forward. While navigating your divorce process, consider some of these tips as you work at finding the healthiest approach for your situation uniquely.
Let Yourself Feel the Pain
Although it may not be pleasant, the only real way you are going to be able to move on from this is by letting yourself feel all of the pain you have. You cannot suppress it and hope it will go away. It will eat you up inside if you do not let the feelings go. You will have all kinds of feelings during this process and it is much better for you to experience them, no matter how high or low you go on the rollercoaster, so you can be a better, healed person at the end of the journey.
Don't Be Afraid to Reach Out For Help
You do not have to go through any of this alone. There are still people you can lean on even if your former spouse is no longer one of them. Reach out to a good friend so you can have someone to talk to. If you want to speak to someone who has been in your shoes, find a friend who has gotten a divorce. You can even find a support group. Just make sure you find someone that you can express your feelings to who will take the time to understand you and your needs as you go through it.
Give Yourself a Break
You did not cause this divorce all on your own. You were part of a two person team who failed. It may seem like it is something that you did that caused it to break that caused everything to crumble but you cannot take the full blame. Give yourself a break and forgive yourself through this process. Also, you are going through a big life change that is very emotional. If you cannot function fully as yourself, do not feel bad or apologize. Do what you can and do not let anyone else tell you that it is not enough.
Take Care of Yourself
Throughout this process, you must learn that you are your number one priority, unless you have children. Then you come directly after them. You have spent so long taking care of someone else in a relationship that it is time to focus on you. Learning to take care of yourself is a big lesson to learn so take some time to focus on who you are and what you need as an individual.