Perhaps your marriage wasn’t always this way. You may remember a simpler time when you and your spouse had the same goals and dreams. Whether life changed or your spouse changed, your marriage is nearing the end. There are options for divorce, including litigation and mediation. How you end it is up to you.
You may have heard wonderful things about mediation. Perhaps you have friends or acquaintances who tried this method for ending their marriages, and they have encouraged you to go the same route. Mediation could end with a satisfying agreement that you and your spouse negotiate together. However, mediation is not right for everyone. It is important to determine if it is in your best interests.
Can both parties agree on a solution?
There are numerous reasons why mediation may not be the ideal choice for your divorce. In fact, you may have tried it and are considering going back to the table to give it another attempt. Whether this is a good idea may depend on your circumstances.
In certain situations, it may be best to take the matters to court. For example, mediation can only work if you and your spouse can commit to seeking a settlement that is agreeable to both of you. If one of you still harbors resentment or anger, mediation may not be the best course of action. Other reasons to consider litigation over mediation include the following:
- You and your spouse disagree about the reasons for the breakup of the marriage.
- You are not emotionally able to make wise decisions that may affect your future.
- You want the divorce over quickly.
- You or your spouse simply do not want to mediate with each other.
- Your marriage was violent.
If you are leaving an abusive partner, you are not likely interested in sitting across the table to negotiate. Some abusive spouses still have emotional control over their partners, and this would make it difficult for you to stand up for yourself at the mediation table. Additionally, you may not want to find middle ground with someone who caused you harm.
What works for you?
One reason why many couples prefer mediation is that it is often cheaper than a litigated divorce. However, if this is not an issue for you, or if other principles are in play, going to court may be the best way to ensure your divorce meets your needs.
Whether you are negotiating or litigating, you will certainly want legal representation with the experience of dealing with high-conflict divorces. You will find that having a strong legal ally will provide you with an advantage that will ensure the protection of your rights throughout the process.