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Asking your spouse for a divorce

It is not easy to ask someone for a divorce. This discussion requires tact and sensitivity, especially when there are children.

It is rarely easy to approach an uncomfortable topic, especially when the topic in question is something as serious and life-changing as divorce. Texas residents who are considering a divorce may understandably have a hard time contemplating the best way to tell their spouse. There are many common reasons for ending a marriage, according to MSN, ranging from infidelity to frequent arguments or spousal abuse. Approaching the issue with sensitivity might not make it any easier at the moment, but could pave the way for better relations with one’s ex-spouse in the future.

Difficult feelings to consider

It can help to imagine how the other spouse will feel when bringing up the topic of divorce, say many relationship experts. A person is hardly likely to react positively when the other partner says the marriage is over. Instead, he or she might feel betrayal, grief, anger and shock, especially if there was little indication that there was anything wrong with the marriage. Kindness and tact are good ways to broach the subject. Spouses should never impulsively demand a divorce during an argument, which may become a threat the other partner no longer takes seriously. Instead, an effective and mature tactic would be to calmly discuss the issue and one’s reasons for wanting the divorce, without making accusations or becoming angry. “I feel like we’ve been drifting apart for some time and I can’t think of anything else that can save our relationship,” might be a good way to start the discussion.

There are a couple of situations that might make it more difficult to ask for a divorce. One is personal safety – if domestic violence was an issue during the relationship, the spouse who is seeking to get out should consider if it might be safer to obtain a protective order or to have others present as a protective measure.

Approaching divorce when children are involved

Another situation involves children. Divorce is hard on everyone, but can be especially devastating for children, according to Psychology Today. It is not uncommon for children to blame themselves for their parents’ split, to not understand why it is happening and to suffer emotionally as a result. In addition to dealing with these emotions with their children, divorcing spouses will also need to consider such issues as parenting plans and child support. Helping children through this difficult time is a big reason why asking for a divorce needs to be done with sensitivity and planning ahead. On the other hand, depending on the circumstances, children may be relieved that their parents are divorcing if that reduces tension in the household. In cases in which domestic violence or abuse has been an issue, a divorce may resolve these issues in the best interests of the children.

If you’re considering a divorce, it is wise to take some time to think about how you will approach the topic with your spouse. You may also discuss your concerns with an experienced Texas family law attorney.