Like most other Texas parents, one of your primary concerns during your divorce is making sure that you help your children adjust to the coming changes. While you can’t insulate them from everything, you want to ease them into what’s coming so they have time to process not only the fact that you and your spouse will end the marriage, but also that their lives will change as well.
The divorce process takes time. In fact, it could take months or longer. This gives you time to put your plans in motion for helping your children adjust. Sources say that using “birdnesting” on a temporary basis such as during the divorce process works well for everyone involved.
Before you decide to try birdnesting
Birdnesting is a type of custody arrangement in which the children remain in the family home and the parents rotate in and out for parenting time. The children do not have to go back and forth between two households and can maintain their routines. This may sound like a good idea, but you must remember one crucial thing — you and the other parent must have an amicable relationship.
Communication is vital in this arrangement, and if you can’t talk to your future ex-spouse, this may not be the right option for you. However, if your divorce is amicable and you both want to keep the children’s needs at the forefront of your decision-making, this could work, at least temporarily.
Birdnesting seems to work best only on a very temporary basis. During your divorce, your children can get used to only seeing one parent at a time. They have the opportunity to adjust to the fact that your marriage is over. You and the other parent illustrate that their needs are more important than your own. The children retain a sense of normalcy, security and routine that other arrangements cannot provide. With all of these benefits, you may wonder why you shouldn’t continue this arrangement after the divorce.
The problem is sustaining it. Your lives remain far more intertwined than they would otherwise. You may even need to share another space that each of you occupies while the other is with the children. On a long-term basis, you would still deal with many of the issues that led to your divorce in the first place, which means this type of custody may not stand the test of time, but that does not mean you cannot take advantage of it for now. An experienced Board-certified Family Law expert attorney in Collin County, Dallas County, Grayson County, Denton County or elsewhere throughout Texas, can help you establish custody arrangements for your family.