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Divorce priorities: Keeping kids' best interests in mind

When you got married, you never dreamed you would one day be sitting your children down to tell them you were getting divorced. Life's not perfect, however. Your main concern now is how to help your children fare as well as possible while adapting to a new style of Texas family living. There are a number of methods to help you avoid major problems and overcome challenges that will likely surface along the way.

The key is keeping your children's best interests as a central focus in all court proceedings related to their care. When children witness their parents being willing to cooperate and compromise, they tend to be quite resilient when adapting to post-divorce lifestyles.

Your children are watching and listening very closely

One of the biggest problems parents face happens when children blame themselves for their parents' divorce. It helps immensely to inform your kids that they did not do or say anything to cause the divorce. The following list includes other ideas that may help you keep stress levels to a minimum:

  • It's always best to avoid involving your children in adult matters. If you and their other parent disagree about an important issue, your children can avoid stress by only knowing the information you deem necessary to provide. Arguing in front of your kids or speaking poorly of their other parent in person or on social media not only does not help them cope, but may cause a breakdown in your own relationship with them.
  • Studies show most children thrive when their lives include structure and routine. Divorce naturally causes disruption in both areas.  However, with diligence and creative thinking, you can help them keep things as normal as possible in their daily lives.
  • Remembering that your spouse may love your children as much as you do may also be a key factor in helping children to cope with your divorce. The courts typically tend to believe that most children fare best when given ample time with both parents after divorce. If you try to impede their ability to spend time with your former spouse, it may be setting the tone for disaster, not to mention some very serious and expensive legal problems.

To the contrary, if your former spouse keeps canceling visits or is otherwise not adhering to an existing court order, you do not need to tolerate it. There are several options available for rectifying such situations and, if you reach out for support as soon as possible, you may be able to mitigate the issue before things get out of hand.

Some problems are only resolvable through litigation. In such cases, many Texas parents rely on experienced Board-certified family law attorneys to act on their behalves in court.

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