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Telling people about a divorce is complicated

| Feb 20, 2020 | Divorce |

The most challenging part of announcing one’s divorce maybe breaking the news to the children. It will take patience, understanding and empathy as they process the news. Conversely, the soon-to-be-divorced husband or wife should ideally get some of that patience, understanding and empathy from friends, adult loved ones or co-workers and bosses. Unfortunately, this will sometimes not be forthcoming.

The soon-to-be-split from spouse likely had some time to process their news and may be ready to move on, while their announcement may take time to sink in with others. Some people when told will be confused and off-base with their response, while others will perfectly sum up the situation, whether it is a “sorry to hear that,” “I’m not surprised” or “congratulations.”

With friends like these?

Those sharing the news will often gain some real insights into the thinking of those around them. One person collected long list of responses. These included:

  1. The shocking: We were taking bets on how long it would last at the wedding.
  2. The judgmental: How can you do that to the kids?
  3. The insensitive: I’m glad my marriage isn’t that bad.
  4. And the just plain stupid: Are you going to get married again?

Try not to take it personally

Hopefully, people do not realize how hurtful their words sound or awkwardly respond because they are unsure of how to react. The correct response is something along the lines of: “Sorry to hear this. I don’t need the details but know that I’m here if you need anything.”

Prompts can help

The couple can also give prompts on how people should respond. This can be done by:

  1. Throwing a divorce party (After the divorce decree has been signed)
  2. Telling people in non-judgmental terms without unnecessary details
  3. Letting them know how they can help
  4. Keep it logistical by offering details regarding living arrangements and other important information

Build a team to lean on

Filing for divorce is a life-changing decision. During this time, it’s best to lean on supportive friends and family as well as an experienced Board-certified Family Law expert attorney in Collin County, Dallas County, Denton County, Midland County, Ector County, and surrounding areas of Texas. These are the people who can make this process go more smoothly and provide help with building a new life.

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