It is preferable that couples act civilly to each other during the divorce process, but not everyone is that lucky. Your soon-to-be-ex may be so angry and bitter that they exaggerate the facts or make false statements about what you did or said. Perhaps they did this to justify their feelings, or they may see it as a strategic attack that will give them the upper hand in divorce proceedings. If nothing else, it makes the divorce process more complicated and stressful. Here are some helpful strategies for refuting these serious falsities.
DOCUMENTATION IS CRUCIAL
Using facts is an effective rebuttal to this kind of behavior. Those with a spouse prone to irrational actions can protect themselves by maintaining accurate records. Documentation is the best response when a spouse makes false claims about being a lousy parent, abusive, neglectful or prone to violence. It can be a tremendous help to maintain the following:
- Complete tax returns;
- Police reports;
- Texts and emails;
- Voicemails;
- Bank records;
- Phone bills;
- Credit card bills;
- Statements from a child’s teacher or marriage counselor; and
- Recordings of conversations when and where one may legally record another person.
These records can confirm facts and refute claims that you are unreliable or volatile. It can add up to a very different image than your ex is trying to portray.
AVOID LASHING OUT
While it can be very tempting, it is a bad idea to respond to angry exaggerations with angry exaggerations of your own. An aggressive response can lead the courts to believe that you are just as angry and dangerous as your hateful, bitter, and vindictive spouse. Regardless of whether your actions are justified, such acts could impact the judge’s decision on a specific issue, such as custody or visitation.
IT’S BEST TO STAY AWAY
The marriage may arrive at the point where one or both of you cannot behave when in the same room, so a simple solution is to keep your distance. Limit all correspondence to email or text and avoid face-to-face contact. If picking up or dropping the children leads to fights, it may be best to bring a neutral third person or meet in public settings, such as the lobby of a local police station, where there are witnesses trained and accustomed to paying attention to their surroundings.
WORK WITH AN ATTORNEY WHO CAN HANDLE THE CASE
An experienced Texas Board-Certified Family Law expert attorney can be beneficial in difficult situations like this. They can help you manage all communications during the divorce. They also have experience protecting a client’s reputation and rights even in the public arena, particularly when spouses make false allegations. They may help prove that the spouse perjured themselves in family court, which is a serious crime.